Jennifer
by Killer Moth
Summary: Raven is trying to conceal her disdain for Robin's relationship with Starfire, and it's bleeding into her work. Currently on hiatus.
1. Jennifer

Disclaimer:I don't own Teen Titans.

Author's Note:It seems I've been bitten by the writing bug lately. This was originally going to be from Starfire's Pov but I scraped that being that her personality is so difficult for me to write. Raven on the other hand flows more naturally for me. So this is my take on the whole Raven/Robin/Starfire love triangle. A pity it's not reality. Oh well.

Timeline:A year after Terra's betrayal(end of Year 3 in the series give or take).

So let's get started.

There are many words used to describe Raven Roth.

Sullen,emotionless,uncaring,gothic,ruthless,angry,sarcastic,and occasionally crazy. But there were two words _no one _would ever thought would be used to describe Raven Roth.

Saddened and Lovesick.

The sad fact is the dark psychic has a crush--on her leader. But from the moment she saw him she knew everything had changed. He was different from most boys his age:he was kind,compassionate,warm but more than that he was like her. He had a innate,subtle darkness about him while hers was far more obvious and external but it was there just the same. Also like her he tries not to get consumed by it and but it's a uphill battle filled with stalemates,setbacks and never true victory.

Someone like that should be grabbed quick right? Unfortunately no. Her fear of rejection kept her paralyzed from telling him the dark truth. Because of that stupid,irrational,pointless emotion it has created a rather severe...complication in her life.

A severe complication would be a major understatement to say the least.

Because of her failure to act,he has fallen for another. Another far more brighter and far more beautiful than she could ever hope to be.

The vivacious Starfire.

Before she didn't care for the alien girl. Her unique mannerisms often irritated her to no end. But Raven could never hate the girl for even though she was quite a pain in the posterior she did many things for friendship and often did her damnest to be nice to Raven. Unfortunately that made things even more complicated.

Anymore complications and Raven's head will explode.

But as complicated as the situation is,Raven knows she must try to get past it in order to survive.

'As if that's anything new to me.'

Raven has survived many things:Her father's attempts to control her,her struggles with emotions,her battles on Earth,her training. But there was something else...something she didn't realized until now.

'I've always survived but I never lived.'

Raven's thoughts rung true. She has endured many things in her short life but not once was she allowed to live. She thought by coming to her mother's home dimension she may get a chance to live. Far more than she could on Azarath. And now she may actually get a chance if only she could get her foot in the door.

Which is not easy considering she's had doors closing all her life.

She's lying in bed,playing and replaying in her head thoughts of her life,thoughts of Robin,thoughts of them together and thoughts of...Starfire.

"Raven! Time for breakfast!"

Cyborg's voice was heard and brought her out of her daydreaming.

Now was the most difficult part of the day. To wake up and plaster an emotionless look on her face and go through the melodrama all over again. To wake up and not feel him next to her. To wake up and feel Starfire's emotions over and over. About how her life was happy and perfect...with Robin.

Raven got out of bed and headed for her vanity mirror. She hated the damn thing because vanity was a pointless emotion but it would be useful...for today at least.

She was dressed in her pajamas and took them off. She wanted a good look at her body.

She saw it all:the weird amethyst colored hair. She wished it was a normal hair color like her namesake. The ash colored skin. She wished it had more color than dull,old grey. Then there was the most obvious:her scrawny figure and underdeveloped breasts. She wished she had more color and more of a body then maybe...just maybe.

'But why would he want someone whose underdeveloped,pale,and broken? When he could have someone with color,big developed breasts and who is _not _broken.'

The mirror cracked.

'Oh well. I hated that thing anyway.'

She decided to pick the pieces later and get dressed in her standard leotard,cloak and boots. She looked back at the mirror and watched her reflection in the various shards. She made a sign and thought.

'Something has got to change.'

With that she left her room towards the kitchen bracing herself for what happens next.

The kitchen was the same:Cyborg and Beast Boy having the meat vs pseudo meat argument again,Starfire making an another noxious meal with the blue furry food by the stove and Robin in the middle.

"Hey Raven." Robin gave a smile at her.

"Robin." she half-smiled. She tried to resist but she couldn't. 'It's so easy to smile for him.'

"Raven I wanted to ask you something if it's alright."

"Of course. What is it?"

"Well Cyborg designed these devices called 'controllers' and so I want to test it with each of the Titans in the training room before we try to use it in battle. And I want you to be first."

"So you want me to be your guinea pig." she smirked.

"I prefer test subject but tomato,tamato." he countered.

Raven slightly chuckled but then became pensive. Her alone with him? What if she says something she'll regret like telling she wants him or worse:telling him Starfire is all wrong for him.

"Please Raven? I'd really appreciate it." he pleaded.

She signed. "Alright. Ten minutes." She could never turn him down.

"Robin come taste these pancakes I made." Starfire said in the background.

"Make it thirty." They both snorted and Robin went to Starfire and Raven went to the training room.

'I hope I don't make a fool out of myself.' Raven thought before turning to see Cyborg and Beast Boy argue some more.

'Not that would be too hard around here.' she deadpanned.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Raven entered the training room and waited. She looked around and saw the kind of equipment Robin uses or specifically _smelled_ the equipment. 'The perils of being a demon.' Although she has to admit Robin has a unique smell. Like sandalwood,an incense she uses from time to time. Before she could mull her thoughts further Robin arrived carrying a metal suitcase.

"How were the pancakes?" Raven smirked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You wanted her."

"Yeah." he signed. "Let's get started." he opened the briefcase.

"Here. Catch." he said as he threw it to her.

The device was circular in nature. Gray with a red trim on the outside. It had a LCD screen and a control panel at the center. Raven looked at it.

"Well what do I do with it? Do I spin it? Or roll it like a ball." She said in her famous monotone while proceeding to roll it on its side to Robin.

"Get serious." he said in a half joking/half serious tone as it fell by his feet.

"I am serious." she said in the most serious tone she can muster.

Robin laughed. It was _very _rare that Raven did such a childish thing. If it were Beast Boy for example he'd let him have it but he was willing to make a exception for her.

"Well I'll admit he could have designed it better. Come over here and I'll show you how it works." he picked up the device and she walked to him.

"You insert your arm through here and press the button here to activate. It shows your vitals,your opponent's,and gives off options based on it's sensors. " Robin said showing her how it worked.

"Interesting but isn't a bit...clunky?"

"It's the smallest Cy could make her. Hopefully in time he'll make a more compact version."

"Hmm. Now why would we need these devices? I think our current non-technological methods are fine."

"True. But it's more the time factor:spending time assessing your opponent _then_ attacking as opposed knowing your opponent already and attacking right off the bat. Said time can then be used to save lives or property. It just takes a second Raven."

"I suppose but.."

"Besides I haven't endorse it yet. After I battle you I'll make my assessment."

"I thought you were battling everyone with it."

"True but I'd rather hear your opinion. It's means...alot to me."

Raven slightly blushed. "T..thank you Robin."

"Alright let's get started."

The two stood across from each other and activated the devices. Raven wasn't sure this was a good idea but if Robin said so then it was alright.

'I just hope nothing blows up.'

The LCD glowed with a current 'Scanning' on screen. Robin launched a hi-jump kick at Raven. Raven blocked.

"So how are things Raven? Jab!"

"All right considering. Rolling Kick!" she said dodging his attack and launched a rolling kick.

"What's wrong?" he said dodged the kick and jumped away from her and looked at the screen.

It beeped saying throw a birdarang at the opponent,attack from a distance.

'You and your girfriend.' "Nothing." she saw him ready to launch a birdarang and looked the screen:Confuse opponent with illusion. Multiple Teleportation.

"Don't sound like nothing to me." he said as he threw it.

"Just drop it." she said as she teleported and dodged the weapon.

"Alright Raven. But you know I care about you,right?" he said wondering where she was.

"I know you do." she said as she appeared behind him.

"I'll drop it for now but we're going to ask you about it sooner or later." he said jumping away and dodged her grip on him.

"We?"

"Me and Starfire. She's getting really worried about you." he said looked at her as she began to teleport all over the room.

"Why is she worried?"

Robin tried to look at Raven and at the screen simultaneously.

"Sometimes on our dates she often talks about 'Raven said this,Raven said that' and she notices you have become more withdrawn lately."

Raven looked at the device:Attack with a dark blast from the right side. "She talks about me on her dates?"

"Sometimes. One thought she had was you come with us one night." he looked at the screen:Jump to the left side.

Raven created a dark ball of energy. "I don't _do_ tagalong. Nor do I want your pity." she threw it at him.

He jumped. "I know you're prideful. Although stubborn is really more fitting." he then threw birdarangs at her.

"I'm not...stubborn." she said as she dodged the birdarangs.

"You are. Admit it." he landed.

She looked at the screen:Use the discarded projectiles in multiple directions. "You best take that back."

"Actually Starfire pointed that out. I happen to agree with her." he lunged at her twisting his body like a tornado. "Tornado Drill!"

She looked at the screen:Slide and hit from underneath. "Of course you agree with her. She's your girlfriend." she then ran towards him.

"Just because I go with her sometimes doesn't mean she's my girlfriend." she then jumped and slid underneath him.

"Actually it does. Sky Uppercut!" she then jumped with a fist in the air and landed into his stomach.

"It's just semantics. Ow.." he said when he landed.

"That may be but you still have an obligation to her now." she said as she levitated.

"I never thought you would take it so seriously." he looked at the screen:blind subject with article of clothing. Cloak.

"One of us has to." she then heeded the eariler advice and mentally manipulated the discarded birdarangs and flung them at him.

"That may be but whatever happens between me and Starfire stays between me and Starfire." he said doing his best dodging the projectiles. "And since when do you care about Starfire's as well as my social life?"

"One)She is my friend and she will tell me about it. Over and over. Two)You two breakup and it will spill into your work. Missions could become compromised. That can not be done." Raven hated to admit that the suggestion that they stay together but she knew logically it had to be.

Robin looked the screen:Use the main projectile and it's return feature as weapon and aim for head. He detached his cloak and use it to grab one of the birdarangs.

"I guess you have a point. I never really thought about it until you said it just now."

"That's the difference between you and me. I _have _to keep thinking in order to survive."

"Maybe that's the problem. You think too much." he turned his back to her and then put his hand in the cape and pressed the birdarang's return button.

'What?' "What do you mean?"

"You always thinking too much. Stop thinking so much Raven." he said as he faced her and threw the birdarang out of his cape at her.

"I don't think I can. It is the only way I can get things done." she said dodging the projectile.

"Maybe you should take a lesson from Starfire. She doesn't think _that _much and she gets things done."

"That's Starfire. She doesn't exactly have my mindset _or _my problems." she said not noticing the device beeping.

"Maybe you should...Raven dodge!"

Raven turned and the birdarang hit on the side of her head. She then fell to the ground.

"Oh God Raven!" he ran towards her. She then knelt to the side of him head in hand.

"Raven are you alright?"

"Maybe you should...learn to watch your guard." she then did a roundhouse kick and toppled Robin.

Robin fell and she stood before him foot on chest.

"You and her should watch your emotions. Your emotions can bring down your guard and your opponent can exploit that...like Slade." she said with a underlying anger in her voice and as she finished something exploded in a distance away.

"You're...right." Robin said sounding tersely.

"I know I am."

The Titans entered the training room in a rush. Starfire was the first to say anything:"Robin are you alright? I heard an explosion in the living room and friends Cyborg and Beast Boy said it was their vision creating device consumed in dark energy." she then went to Robin's aid and helped him up.

"I'm fine Star."

"I'm not. You blew up our gamesphere again!" Cyborg yelled at Raven. "Of everything in the Tower you aim for that! Why?"

Raven looked him with a morose expression and a glint of red in her eyes. She took off her controller and handed it to Cyborg.

"Not bad. The reaction time could be improved upon. Plus the size." she walked away from them but not before taking a look at Starfire doting on Robin. The only one who noticed that was Beast Boy. He then thought of a conversation he and Cyborg had just before the gamesphere blew up.

"Ready Go!"

The digitized voice brought Beast Boy out of his daydreaming. He had been out of it a lot lately. Particularly as his thoughts swarmed around two little birdies and a bright star.

"Uppercut,fireball! God B.B. what happened to your game? You used to kick my ass all the time in this game." Cyborg said as Beast Boy's virtual fighter fell defeated and the screen changed to player select.

"Sorry Cy. Just thinking about other things." Beast Boy said in a half apologetic/half ashamed tone.

'B.B. Thinking?' As long Cyborg knew the changeling there were many words used to describe him. Cerebral was not one of them. That was more Raven and Robin's shtick.

"Terra?" he said thinking about how crushed Beast Boy was after Terra's betrayal. The earth psychic was very special to the changeling. He saw her as a opportunity to move on. To move on from someone who would never return his feelings.

Beast Boy sucked in a breath. "No."

"Our resident ray of sunstroke?"

"Yeah. Sorta of."

Cyborg knew about Beast Boy's feelings for Raven for over a year now. Sometimes after a really grueling mission and when they were alone Beast Boy would rant for hours about Raven doing this,Raven doing that. Or most times him wishing he would've done something for her instead of Robin. Cyborg wished his best friend to be happy but he knew in the end it wouldn't matter. He knew Raven only had eyes for Robin. Based on their body language and their subtle interaction with each other he could tell Raven felt_ something _for their leader but the question was did he feel the same way?

No,if he did then he wouldn't be with Starfire now would he?

"I thought we were finally over this."

"I thought I was...with Terra and we all know how well that turned out."

"Yeah."

"I have to do _something_ about this Cy or I'll turn into a _complete_ basketcase."

"Into? You already are man."

"Oh yeah." he grinned sheepishly

"Look you know what the answer will be right? Let her go man."

"I can't. Besides Robin could've taken a chance. He didn't." he said checking where Starfire was. She was in the kitchen cooking more blue furry foodstuffs.

"Is that why you're doing this? Because you see an opening?"

"Well yeah. Robin has Starfire. If he wanted Raven he could've had her by now."

"Yeah but Raven is only now opening up to us. She's not like most girls. Certainly not like the girls we date."

"Yeah." Beast Boy said in a dreamy tone.

Cyborg put two and two together. "That's why you want her because she's _not_ like most girls. Between us we've dated every girl in the city. What better way to get back at them than dating the ultimate ice princess."

"It's not like that at all!"

"Yes it is man. Admit it."

"You're wrong dude. I can make her laugh and be happy for the first time. Remember the pink Raven?"

"Yeah but there's a lot of stuff you gotta figure in too."

"Like what?"

Cyborg thought long and hard. He had to tread carefully. "That's just one aspect of her personality. You have to think of the whole picture here."

"Which is?"

Cyborg began to form a sweatdrop. "That the rest of her may not feel that way with these feelings for Robin and all."

"How do we know that? Now that Rob is with Star,Raven will come to her senses and see what the clear choice and perfect choice is."

Cyborg noticed the tone in Beast Boy's voice. There was something...more. Not bravado as such maybe more...predatory. Before he could finish his thought the gamesphere was enveloped in a dark energy and exploded.

"Aw hell! Not again." Cyborg grumbled.

Starfire popped out of the kitchen. "Did I hear a explosion?"

"Yeah a Raven explosion."

"Yeah. Isn't it dreamy?" Beast Boy said.

"Stop that! Let's go." And with that they rushed the training room.

After Raven left,Robin handed Cyborg the controller.

"Well it worked out fine but I'd finetuned it to Raven's specifications before we'd use it on the field."

"Robin are you alright?"

"I'm fine Star."

"No you're not. What you need is to try some of my blue danishes. They'll perk you up right up,if I'm using the expression right."

"You are. But I don't...Star." Robin said as Starfire dragged him out of the room leaving Cyborg and Beast Boy alone.

"Did you see the look on her face?" Beast Boy said.

"Yeah."

"Before I wasn't sure but now I am. Tonight."

"Tonight what?"

"Tonight I tell her."

Cyborg looked at him. He wasn't sure about anything anymore but he knew this would not end well.

"Are you sure man?"

"I'm sure."

"Well then in that case good luck man and I hope you get the answer you want."

"I hope I get it too." and with that he walked out of the room.

Later...

'Great so not only did I humiliate myself but I hurt him and destoryed some property.' Raven thought as she paced around her room.

'Although I did destroy their pointless toy so perhaps the day wasn't a total waste.'

She signed. 'I need to meditate.'

She sat on her bed indian style and begin to chant when a knock on her door interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes?"

"It's Beast Boy. Can I come in?"

She thought about it. Hopefully she can shoo him away quickly and get back to meditating. The longer she waits the longer she'll lose control within herself.

"Alright."

Beast Boy entered the room. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"Because you don't usually blow stuff up without good reason."

She signed. "Are you heading somewhere with this?"

"I'm worried about you is all."

"I appreciate your concern but I assure you I'm fine and if you excuse you." she opened the door.

'No! Not when I'm this close!' Beast Boy panicked and said the first thing that popped into his mind.

"I wish you'd forget about him Raven and give the guy who has true feelings for you a chance."

Raven looked at him like he grew an extra head.

"Don't make this harder for me Raven." he said with a edge in his voice.

Raven didn't say anything. Instead she searched the changeling's mind. She saw that he had deep feelings for her. Feelings that have been burned his subconscious. The type of emotions overwhelmed the empath. Hope,fear,despair,desire,and there was another feeling,feeling buried within. A feeling she can't quite place. A feeling that she wasn't familar with. Not she was very intimate with the subtle nuances of the human personality. But it wasn't love. Not that she was familiar with_ that_ either.

"Well?" he spoke.

"I'm sorry...for looking into your mind."

"I don't mind. So?"

"Beast Boy I-"

"Don't say anything yet. Ok? Just let me say this:I know I can make you laugh. Remember the Pink Raven?"

"Not that could I forget."

"If I can make you laugh,then...I can make you happy. You'll never be happy with Robin."

Raven thought long and hard. She's been doing a lot of that lately. Granted as much as she hated to admit to it Beast Boy made her laugh and laughter lead to happiness based on his reasoning. Could he be the answer? But Robin was the closest she had to a soulmate but she wasn't his. Starfire saw to that without even knowing it. Could Beast Boy take his place?

'No.'

"Beast Boy I'm sorry but--"

"Wait before you answer let me do this."

He kissed her. It wasn't a tender or passionate kiss,more in between if that was possible. Of course Raven has never been kissed before so how would she know?

"I promised you won't be alone anymore Raven. Robin would leave you but I won't."

'Alone.' Raven thought about that. She was always alone. So was her mother. It was their trademark. The one thing that bound them together. She could sense that Beast Boy was sincere but he had his work cut out for him:to undo 17 years of true loneliness. She could sense that he's never been alone. Not alone as her and Robin but there was two things in her mind:

He wants to help.

Robin is not yours and never will be.

They both hit her hard. The second thought hit her harder. But there was one thought to began to rise.

'I'm sick of being alone.'

She knew it was time to concede. She'll never have Robin but she'll have Beast Boy. And who knows? Maybe one day she'll...love him.

"Raven say something. Anything. Even a gargling sound would help."

There was a slight upturn on the left side of her lips.

"Alright Beast Boy. We'll give it a shot. I have to go meditate and I'll see you tomorrow."

Beast Boy was instantly relieved. "I promise you won't regret this Raven."

"I hope I don't. Now off you go."

Beast Boy left Raven's room with a spring in his step. 'Wait till Cy hears about this!'

Raven closed the door and leaned her back towards the wall.

'I hope I did the right thing. Well we'll find out won't we?' There was a song Raven was thinking about just now. A song she heard a long time ago. There was a lyric rather appropriate.

"If you can't be with the one you love then you love the one you're with."

But can Raven use Beast Boy like this? To use as a placeholder? A cheap proxy of relief for the ache burning in her soul?

'I don't know. But no matter what I must let him go. Then he'll be happy. The two of them will be happy and maybe one day I'll be too.' she signed and then proceeded to meditate.

Do it by the numbers:

1)Like I said this is my take on the whole Raven-Robin-Starfire love triangle if it were to exist. Yes I know it's been done before. Like all love triangles it's extremely complicated with no clear answer. And when it comes to 'placeholders' people do it all the time in real life. To the Beast Boy/Raven fans I'm sorry if you'll be offended but I'm still going to continue this story no matter where it leads. Simple thing to do is:Don't like it,Don't read it. I respect your pairing as long as you respect mine.

2)I picked the song because it has personal relevance. Not so much the one guy-two girls scenario as suggested here. It's like this:My male best friend and I talk sometimes about girls. And there was this one girl ironically named Jenny he was obsessed over. Everyday for 4 months Jenny this,Jenny that and I kept telling him 'Make your move or shut up.' In the end he choked and I heard it. Oh God did I hear it. Since I had the CD at the time the song made a lot of relevance. This was a particular annoying experience for me since I was going through a dry social patch at the time and he ranting about her all the time irritated the hell out of me. I know it may be a stretch but still.

3)For obstute readers those 'controllers' are Seto Kaiba's prototype Duel Disks on "Yu-Gi-Oh!" I wanted to sneak them in. I may do the current Duel Disk eventually if I feel like it. For the battle scene if I was off I apologize. I'm used to Pokemon battles and "Yu-Gi-Oh!" card battles so if my timing was off you know.

4)The sequel will take time. I have other priorities,other fics. The sequel should be done in late May. It may be chapters or separate fics. I'm leaning toward separate fics myself. Might be sooner when my dark compatriot Little Black Teacup(I decided to mention ya after all. I was originally going to be subtle)gives me ideas. But I'm or we're not rushing.

5)If Cyborg or Beast Boy were off I apologize. Robin and Raven flows easily to me. The others don't. Plus I wanted some time to elapse and give them some maturity (if that were possible).

6)Reviews are appreciated. I particularly want X-Static process to read this and my other Robin/Raven fics. What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? What I need to correct. I want to get on your "Forbidden Love" board but I wanted to get at least 5 Robin/Raven fiction pieces done and prove myself before I got on. Yes I know how pathetic it all sounds. But since you're the catalyst I want to know what you think.


	2. Underdog

Disclaimer:I don't own Teen Titans.

Author's Note:I was disappointed by the initial review response but with the passage of time I gained some nice reviews to which I respond:

writerofthefuture:I always appreciate your reviews. They are amusing if nothing else.

idoliar:Thank you for the kind words. I needed to hear that. I remembered in your review/argument of "Slucing High" you called me female. For the record and for everyone to know. I'M A GUY! Thank you.

Chocolate Curlz:Thank you,I push myself to be original. Or close to it as I possibly can. And potential is spelled with a "A".

earthfirewindwater:You're a good egg.

Lain the Fluff-Master:I'm quite glad this impressed you so much. No one ever told me I got good prose before. I'll certainly keep it up if you keep your Robin/Raven fiction up. I like what you got. Keep it up.

I'm using songs that I think fit the Robin/Raven relationship in each chapter,to:A)resolve my feelings and B)get it out of my system before I do the really serious stuff.

I wanted to do "Toy" from the Murmurs but changed it at the last minute because I thought this song fits the situation better. At least in terms of Robin/Raven but I'll let you be the judge.

I also want to give a big,extra special piece of cake for Noriaki Kakyoin and his dead-on insights and criticisms. Sorry man,I'm just on this Lisa Loeb kick.

Timeline:Two weeks after Part 1

Let's get started.

"We're approaching our destination,sir."

The intercom squawked its message to its main passenger as the helicopter was approaching a rocky mountain pass. The passenger inwardly smirked. 'The time has arrived.' Time was once the passenger's problem:to hurry and finish what he thought was the final solution but now it was his asset. It gave him a chance to scheme,to plan,to find weakness. And now within the past year he found it:the final cog in his machine,the final piece.

Now if only no one would screw it up.

He felt the helicopter coming to a stop,hovering.

"We've achieved clearance and going to land,sir." The intercom said.

"Very well,then. Proceed."

The passenger turned his head to the left. He saw one of the engines turning horizontal to vertical. From the mechanical buzzing sound he heard the other engine did the same action. He knew the VTOL helicopter was quite expensive but it was quite useful from time to time.

The helicopter landed on a clear piece of land between two mountains. The passenger didn't get up,he waited. He waited as the patch of land below the helicopter started to make mechanical sounds and actually lowered the helicopter into the earth.

Then he got up.

The patch of land or platform was being guided by pulleys and high density wires,landing towards another platform which he could see someone was standing on as he entered the cockpit. He then walked outside the helicopter on the platform:He saw highly refined metal bulkheads,people working highly advanced technological consoles,he was impressed.

'They've increased the budget.'

The platform landed and turned towards the old woman standing there. He immediately recognized the old crone:The headmistress of the Hive Academy of Extraordinary Young People. Or H.A.E.Y.P. for short. The institution willing to do anything legal or illegal. For a price. She of course recognized the gentleman clad in raven colored body armor with an orange colored half-mask.

"Greetings Mr. Slade."

Yes,the notorious Slade Wilson,sworn enemy of the Teen Titans. Which is the reason he accepted her summons and came here.

"Headmistress." Slade looked around,he already looked around but now he was doing it for her benefit. The things he does to make the little people happy.

"Interesting base. I thought you would be build something more...insectal."

"This is a sub-base hidden from our enemies. The real H.I.V.E. main base when completed will be far more glorious and far more...insectal than this little fissure." she said in what looked a smile. A really creepy smile. A smile which for some reason gave Slade a chill down his back.

"At any rate may I ask why you called me?"

The Headmistress gestured him to follow her down a corridor.

"I called because we've made great breakthroughs in our new genetics division. I recalled your interest in genetics particularly with our nano-probe technology which you bought. So before we go to market,I thought I should give you a peek in case you're interested. You'd be surprised in how advanced we've become--"

Slade always hated this part. He hated the fact the old crone would hem and haw over her organization's latest machine or operative. She sounded like a used car salesman quite frankly. But as much as he loathe it,he understood why:the woman didn't have a much of a life except for the H.A.E.Y.P.,which is a rather depressing fact in of itself. So why take the little pleasure the woman has left in her pathetic life?

"We have actually developed chemicals that can transform our mediocre students into super soldiers. We called them Super Beings. They can easily dispatch your enemies. If fact--"

'That's enough.'

"I didn't come because of that but thank you. I came because I need three toys you gave me not too long ago:Agents Jinx,Mammoth,and Gizmo."

The old woman looked shocked. "B..but they have failed every mission. I was going to liquidate them for their failures."

"I can certainly understand why you feel that way but I have use for them. I'm conducting an...experiment of sorts."

The old woman threw him a quizzical look. "All right,but I'd like to know why."

"I need them. That's all you need to know."

"It doesn't work that way Mr. Slade. If I'm going to override protocol and snatch them from the soup so to speak,I'd like to know why."

Slade took a heavy breath and thought:He did not want anyone to know his business. But he did not want to break off this arrangement and go to someone else,someone else he may not trust. He knew H.A.E.Y.P. and H.A.E.Y.P. knew him. Why destroy a good thing? Besides he had a fondness for the Headmistress. She never backed down to him. Most of the time anyway and besides she was to the closest he had to a...friend.

"As I said before I'm conducting an experiment involving the Titans. Your 'failures' has had much experience with them. I need to see if my hypothesis is true."

"Which is?"

"May we go somewhere...private?"

She nodded and lead him to her private office and closed the door. Slade then produced a mini-cassette and went to her video player and installed it in the open port.

"I've been observing the Titans' most recent battles. Particularly the aftermath of said battles." Slade said as he adjusted the device. The monitor on the adjacent wall turned on.

The image started with a battle damaged street. The police were putting the villain of the day in the paddy wagon. Robin was in a hug by Starfire.

"I originally thought the alien was my only way to get to Robin but then I discovered a rather interesting...wrinkle."

He turned a knob and it showed a different angle featuring Raven staring at the couple with a stare full of longing and something else. Could it be...love?

"I thought it was interesting to see the emotionless half-breed show such a look. I first thought she was envious of the closeness Robin and the alien shared. Then it became much more clear."

The image then showed that Raven showed that same longing,love-fulled look after Starfire left and just stared at...Robin. Slade froze the image.

"The daughter of Trigon falling in love with a human? I don't believe it."

"Yes. I found it unbelievable myself. And that's why I need those three. To test to see how deep these feelings are."

"I..I'm not sure this is a good idea. We've seen the extent of the daughter of Trigon's powers and they're not to be trifled with. Especially if she's in...love as you claim."

"I'm not claiming anything. That's why I want to conduct this experiment. To see if I'm right."

"And if you are?"

"Then I found my perfect pawn."

"You know you're sowing the seeds of your destruction by doing this."

"I know. But look at it this way:if I win no harm,no foul. If I lose you're out three liabilities."

"Well,when you put it like that."

They both stared at the screen,at Raven's face. The Headmistress was thinking how deep of a grave Slade was digging by toying with the daughter of Trigon's emotions like this. She cared about him. He _was_ a very good client after all. Slade was thinking of all the schemes he would use if he was right. And if this pans out he might end up with not just one but _two_ apprentices.

'Oh the fun we'll have.'

Slade inwardly chuckled.

Robin couldn't put his finger on it but something was...off. But what? There was a lull in the crimefighting lately yes,but that wasn't it.

What was it? Think! Two weeks ago everything was fine. Wait... now he remembered:nearly two weeks ago was when Beast Boy and Raven pronounced they were a couple. And for some reason that didn't bode well for Robin.

'Why?'

He had Starfire,that was enough. Wasn't it?

Before this revelation it was. But now...

'Why should I care who Raven dates? That's her business as she so often reminds us.' Raven's antisocial personality leaked everywhere:in the Titans' battle plans,the occasional sarcastic remark,even in their own minds. Robin underestimated how much of a impact Raven has on everyone.

'I doubt she knows herself.'

Robin then wondered about Raven herself. Surely having a boyfriend for the first time would be cause for elation, to quote Starfire. But she's acting the same as she usually does. Except within the past week she's been acting even more emotionless than before if that's possible.

Why is she so sad?

Robin has been with Raven for over four years now. He can usually pick up any fluctuation in her moods based on their time together and his detective skills but now...now...

'Now I don't know anything more.'

'Isn't this what she wanted? To finally get rid of the loneliness?' Robin knew Raven lived a lonely life based on what he deduced and on very little she told him. And it looks like Beast Boy was the key to freeing her from that loneliness.

So why he isn't convinced?

Obviously there was a deeper issue here but how was Robin going to find out?

'Simple. Ask her.'

'Ask her?'

'If you care about her,you have to.'

'What about her--'

'If she values the friendship and you know she does,she won't turn you down. At least until the end.'

'You're right. I have to try. I care about her.'

Robin left his room to do just that.

"So he says don't worry,I've got Krabbys! Ha,ha,ha! Can you believe it?" Beast Boy said to Raven sitting on the couch on the living room.

"I can't believe you still have all those teeth." Raven deadpanned.

Beast Boy glowered for a minute and said nothing. Raven taking cheap shots wasn't new but since they have paired up,she almost goes out of her way to do that. Most times she wouldn't even bother,so why now?

'Maybe it's just Raven stuff.' Beast Boy has been with Raven for two weeks and he still can't figure hardly anything about her,she hasn't opened up much,like her past. But then that's not a shock dealing with the antisocial psychic as long as he has. But she hasn't said one thing that was truly...open. She tells him little things,little things that so blatantly obvious it could make you spit but nothing else. Beast Boy knew this would come hand-in-hand with Raven but it doesn't mean he has to like it. Beast Boy saw Starfire walk towards the kitchen. He thought of Robin.

'You may caught a beauty Bird boy but I caught the real prize. The diamond in the rough.' Beast Boy was surprised he thought that:associating with Raven,he had to read and learn stuff to try and keep up with her. That phrase was something he read last night. He had to admit he liked the novel Raven gave him but he would never admit it to her. He _did_ have his immature image to maintain. What he didn't know was Raven caught those last thoughts. He forgot to raise his mental shields yet again.

"I'm going to get something to eat. Want anything,babe?"

"No thank you." he walked towards the kitchen leaving Raven to her thoughts.

She hated the endearment. It was so simple,so easy to say. No brainpower whatsoever. Nothing to make her melt. She often wondered what endearment Robin would give her if they were in a relationship. No doubt something that was intelligent but charming and beautiful.

'You'll never going to let this go,are you?' her conscience asked.

'How can I? He is someone you can't easily let go.'

'You have to. You're in a relationship now.'

'I guess if Garfield has _some_ depth to him then this wouldn't be _that_ much of a problem. But he clearly doesn't. I'm trying but...'

'I know. '

'Maybe I shouldn't have done this. He's too...childish for me.'

'You needed someone. The way you were going you were going to explode very soon if you didn't end the loneliness.'

'I know but Garfield? Why couldn't it be R--'

'Yes you wish Robin would come and save you but he can't. You know that.'

'I know. I know it everytime I look at them. I wonder though...is he happy? With all this messing around with Garfield I've had no time for him.'

'I'm sure he understands. He knows how hard it is budgeting time with your friends and time with your significant other.'

'True,that's how it was with Starfire and he still made time for us. I should do the same.'

'You didn't finish your thought:do you think he's happy?'

'He'd have to be wouldn't he?'

'There is one way.'

'I'm _not _probing his mind. Everyone is fair game but not him.'

'No. I meant ask him.'

'No I can't.'

'Then stop your pining. Either you resolve the tension between you and find out where you stand or shut up and get off the pot.'

'Dear God,I _have_ been around him too long. But you're right. I have to know,I should have talked to him about it when it first started but I was afraid. Afraid of my reaction,afraid of him. If I give a damn about him at all and I do,I should respect his choices and be happy for him. As long he's happy,I'm happy and I'll put up with this.'

The conscience seems satisfied with the answer and said nothing. But as she focused on what happened to Garfield,Robin sat down next to her.

"Raven."

"Robin."

"Raven can I ask you something?" he looked around to see if Beast Boy was here.

"Of course. What is it?"

"Well there is something on my mind..."

"And you'd like it removed? Get on with it."

Robin inwardly grimanced. "I'll come back."

"No,I'm sorry. It's been a long morning."

Robin mentally and physically relaxed.

"It's fine. Sorry. Ah,I wanted to ask you something...personal. About you and Beast Boy."

Raven stared at him but inwardly was starting to panic.

'What would he ask me? A double date? To see that he and I know this is a sham? What?'

"I just want to know if you're happy."

Raven looked at him like his head exploded. In fact something may have achieved that in the background. Not that it matters now.

"I...I..."

"Let me finish. I'd like to think I know you. You and your various moods. And ever since you've been with Beast Boy,you've been more depressed and more withdrawn. All which concerns me."

'He actually cares? About me?'

Robin continued. "Usually most times when you have a first boyfriend or girlfriend you feel happy or close to it in your case. But I haven't got that from you and I'd like to know what's wrong."

Raven finally spoke. "You speaking as leader?"

"_No_. Not leader to subordinate,friend to friend. I care about you Raven. Always have." Robin said,surprised how easily that slipped out from him.

'Oh,Robin. Save me from this.'

"Well..." Raven was about to speak when the TV gave off a screeching sound and changed images. The new image showed a half orange mask Robin was quite familiar with.

"Slade!"

"Greetings my senshi. I hope the morning finds you well. I've a party for you."

"Titans,in here now!" Robin bellowed.

The Titans gathered by the main screen.

"Slade!" Cyborg said.

"Since when did he get his own daytime talk show?" Beast Boy quipped.

"I've a building in the city built full of C4 ready to detonate. Unless you and the sorceress get to a specific location within the hour I will detonate it." Slade said with a deadly tone in his voice. But then again he _always_ says things in a deadly tone.

"Alright Slade." Robin said tersely.

"No back-up. Just the two of you or I'll detonate."

Robin hated to go against Slade without any backup but Raven _was_ going with him. That gave him an iota of comfort.

"Fine."

"Good. Now for the 'where'. Don't blink."

The screen flashed a bright light. Cyborg adjusted his red eye and Raven gave off a bubble of dark energy and shielded her eyes. They both saw it was a map. A map of the city and a Slade symbol pointing toward the docks:Pier 41.

"I look forward to seeing you both.And do be quick. You wouldn't want any more innocent blood spilled because our feud do you?" Slade said in a smug tone before signing off.

"I know where it is." said Cyborg.

"So do I." said Raven. "Pier 41."

"Anyone noticed that he said not to look for it?" Robin said.

"Yeah,I did too. So while you and Rave take care of One Eye,we'll look for it." Cyborg said.

"But what if the building full of C-stuff is a trick like that Khronoton thingy back when Robin was Slade's apprentice?" Beast Boy said.

Everyone just stared at him.

"Hey,it takes me a while." he sweatdropped.

"We're wasting time. Robin and I will go to the pier. You all look for the building." Raven said.

The Titans shouted affirmative responses and left. Expect for Beast Boy. He came to Raven and Robin.

"You be careful. Alright babe?" Beast Boy said as he leaned to kiss her. Robin kind of rolled his eyes but he noticed something else. Based on her body language Raven looked liked she was going to throw him off.

'There is something to this,hopefully I can find out while we get there.'

Raven gave him a subtle cold look. "I will. You get going."

Beast Boy saw the look but didn't take the hint. "Yes ma'am. Off I go."

After he left,Raven turned to Robin. "Sorry. Shall we go?"

"Y..yeah." Robin said in a coming out of a trance mode.

"We'll fly there and we..."

"No. No flying. We'll use my bike." Robin said remembering the last time he levitated with Raven. He was gyrating like a monkey in heat. No way in perdition was he going through _that_ again.

"But..."

"Raven,please."

Raven gave a sign. "Fine."

"Besides it will give us a chance to talk." Robin said as he headed for the elevator.

'Oh goody.' Raven thought as she followed.

Raven followed him to the garage. And a millon thoughts went off in her mind.

'What if I lose control? What if I slip and tell him? What if I...'

"Raven? Here's your helmet." Robin said handing her a dark blue helmet. She looked at it:midnight blue was her color. 'How does he knows these little things?' Raven thought for a minute.

_Freezing,boring,_

_wondering where I'll be on my birthday._

_You kissed me in a dream last night._

_How could I?_

_I wouldn't know._

'Right. The world's greatest detective trained him. Of course he'd know.' Raven had this glassy eyed look broken up by Robin speaking. "Are you ok?"

"Fine." she blurted and put on the helmet. She sat behind him and blushed. She had to touch him or she'd flip out of there. Fortunately the helmet hid her blush.

'This is the only time I'll get to touch him. I have to savor this.' she thought as she was preparing to burn the memory and the touch into her brain.

"Ready?"

'Ready as I'll ever be.' "Yes."

"Then away we go." Robin said as he revved the bike and took off.

"Umm Raven?" Robin asked. She looked like she was in deep thought. So he used the only recourse left.

'Raven?' he said in his mind to reach hers,apparently it worked.

'Yes?' said in a distracted tone.

'Are we going to talk about this or not? I'm willing to give you all the time and space you need but only as long as you're willing to deal with it.'

'Robin...I...'

'I promise it will stay between just the two of us. Please?' he added the privacy issue in hopes to seal the deal. Apparently it worked.

'Robin,I'm sorry. I'm not denying it. It's just...I'm so confused and never felt this way before. I don't know how to...' she said but the telepathic voice had a definite undercurrent of emotion in it. One Robin couldn't ignore and would not.

'Whenever you're ready. I'm here for you. Got that?' Robin interrupted.

She responded by gripping his waist. He got the message.

'Got it.'

The two sped off in comfortable silence.

The two achieved their destination. Robin activated his communicator.

"Anything?"

"Nothing yet,we'll keep checking." Cyborg said back to him.

"Good,we'll contact you as soon as we secure the place and take down One Eye. Out."

Robin put away the device and stared at the abandoned warehouse.

"It usually comes down to this Raven:you,me,some supervillain craving our destruction,and an abandon warehouse."

"Yes,and to quote something that Beast Boy no doubt would say:"why couldn't it be a roller rink or something?""

Robin looked at her and had to try so hard not to laugh. He gave a big smile and laughed very loud mentally.

"That's good. Let's get started."

They entered the warehouse and it looked empty

Robin was able to shout asking for Slade when he was beaten to the punch.

"Well the gang's all here. Let's give the scruffy roadkill lickers a proper introduction!" A high-pitched annoyingly familiar voice said from above.

"Prepare for trouble and make it double!" said by three people.

"To educate the uncultured masses!" a low pitched feminine voice said.

"To show the world that our intellect surpasses!" the high pitched voice said.

"To denounce the evils of ignorance and hate!" the low pitched voice.

"To extend our teachings to here and to Hell's Gate!" the high pitched voice.

"Jinx!"

"Gizmo!"

"Mammoth!"

"The H.A.E.Y.P. circling Earth all day and night!" Jinx said.

"Surrender to us now or you're surely lose the fight!" Gizmo said.

"That's right!" screamed Mammoth.

"What a pointless motto." Raven quipped.

"You're just jealous! Jealous you're not working for the H.A.E.Y.P.! Jealous you don't have a motto." Jinx screamed at the caped Titan.

"Whatever." Raven said.

"Enough of this! Do you have Slade's detonator or not?" Robin screamed at the trio.

"Right here. If you want it,come get it." Jinx said after indicating it was the detonator,put the square grey box by her foot and the trio rushed towards them.

"Good luck Raven." Robin said to Raven.

"We're going to need it." she returned.

Jinx headed for Raven while the two boys bullrushed Robin. Jinx threw several jabs and Raven dodged them all and did a Rolling Kick. Jinx blocked.

"I see you still fight like a boy." Jinx smirked while holding her leg.

"I see you still look like one." Raven countered,quickly removing the leg before Jinx saw a opportunity.

Robin tried to hi-jump kick Gizmo out of his techpac but he dodged. Robin tried to check Raven's progress every now and then a glance but then focused on the tiny twerp. 'I'll check on Raven after I take out the trash.'

"Please,you look more like of a boy than me. No wonder Birdboy wants nothing to do with you." Jinx smirked.

"What did you say?" Raven silently growled with a red tint in her eyes.

"Come on. With your frigid attitude and very scrawny body? Please,the only way you'd get laid is forcing someone to with your powers. I'm saying forced because no one would go through that willingly." Jinx smirked,she knew her words were having a powerful effect on the gothic sorceress.

Raven was seemingly paralyzed. Everything was going off in her head. 'No. No! He could love me! He could! If only we had a chance! If it weren't for her. My...best friend.'

Jinx looked at Raven. 'The boss was right. The gothic freak _does_ like Birdbrain.' she turned to Robin who was grabbing a leg from Gizmo's techpac and spun it and him around waiting to fling him at Mammoth. Jinx powered up her hand to release a hex bolt. Nothing strong. That was the boss' orders. Little did she know of the chaos to come.

"Just to keep you up to date,my powers have the capability to mathematically stop vital organs like his heart or his brain. Now we both know you'll never have him so let's ensure that." Jinx sneered as she prepared to fire her bolt. Jinx was speaking a half-truth:She did have the power to alter probability. Not just in inanimate objects but people and in terms of their physiology and the probability of function and malfunction. Not enough to kill,yet. Not that Raven knew that. Raven came out of her daze to see that Robin let go of Gizmo and flung him into Mammoth. Making them both unconscious. She threw her bolt.

"Robin! Watch out!"

He turned and saw the hex bolt and had no time to dodge it. He absorbed it and fell.

The blast was strong but not enough to kill. She controlled the function of the bolt so it would mathematically stop production a neurotransmitter that keeps people conscious. A very small dose. Normally she couldn't refine her powers like that but with some recent training with Slade now she can. 'Just enough to keep unconscious for 30 seconds to a minute. That's what the boss said.' Just enough to prove Slade's point.

'Whatever that is.'

Raven rushed towards him and cradled his head in her arms. She then released a scream:a demonic scream full of longing,sadness,and...rage.

She turned to Jinx.

"YOU DID THIS! YOU TOOK HIM FROM ME! NOW YOU WILL PAY, LOWLY MORTAL!" she screamed in a deep demonic voice. Four crimson eyes burned brightly at her. Indigo tendrils were starting to reveal themselves through the cape. Whirling fast enough to snap someone's neck easily if they're weren't careful. She delicately let go of Robin and then hovered towards her.

Jinx was shocked to say the very least. She didn't predict _this_ would happened. 'Slade didn't tell me about this.'

Raven caught the thought. "NO,HE DIDN'T. WORRY NOT FOR YOUR MASTER LITTLE GIRL. HE'LL BE JOINING YOU SOON ENOUGH!" Raven bellowed as her tendrils quickly wrapped around Jinx's limbs. She bought Jinx closer to her and smiled a mouth full of fangs. "IF YOU BELIEVE IN A GOD LITTLE GIRL,BEST PRAY FOR ONE NOW." Jinx tried to turn away from Raven's fang toothed maw but couldn't.

Robin started to come to. He was shocked what he saw:Raven looming over Jinx. Indigo tendrils flashing everywhere. He remembered when Raven last acted like this:several years ago with Dr. Light. But even that wasn't so intense compared to this. What the hell happened? Last time he checked Raven was fine. What could have happened between then and now?

He was knocked unconscious.

Could _that_ have something to do with it?

'That Raven's acting this way because of..._me?_'

'No. That can't be. Can it?'

Before Robin could debate this he had to save Jinx. He tried to get in Raven's peripheral view but the tendrils were lashing at him. They nearly took his head clean off his shoulders. He grimanced.

"RAVEN,STOP!" Robin screamed and the tendrils wrapped around him.

"Raven,stop this please." Robin said in a begging tone. Raven turned and looked at him. She unleashed an another powerful demon scream. This time full of frustration and sadness. The crimson eyes disappeared and the tendrils relaxed their grip and release them both. Raven ran to Robin.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought you were..." Raven said as she fell into his arms. She then did something she hasn't done in ten years.

She cried.

"I understand. Thank you for stopping." Robin said in a comforting tone. He almost cried himself. Something he hasn't done since his parents died all those years ago. Jinx ran towards her fellow students who were waking up.

"Let's double team that goth bitch! She will pay for humiliating me!" The others agreed and ran towards Raven and Robin lunging at them. Raven noticed them.

"You won't hurt us anymore." She got out of Robin's warm arms and faced the trio. Robin ran to get the detonator. She charged a ball of dark energy and threw it at them.

"Shadow Ball!"

The Shadow Ball connected and absorbed the criminals and exploded in their faces. The trio skyrocketed out of the building and into the air.

"Well we learned a lesson here today." Jinx said flying through the air

"Duh,we did?" Mammoth grunted.

"Yes,don't piss off a goth girl!"

"I'll say." Gizmo muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" she screamed.

As the trio went further out of sight,they screamed:"Looks like we screwed up again!" and went into space leaving behind a star trinkle.

Robin looked at the detonator. He wanted to console Raven but this was priority. They both knew that.

It was a...communicator. It activated showing Slade's mask.

"Slade where is the trigger?" Robin exclaimed.

"Sorry Robin,once again there was no trigger."

"Then why?"

"Just to prove a point. Until next time." The image then disappeared. Robin then looked Raven whose eyes were red from crying. Robin turned on his communicator and Cyborg's face appeared.

"Rob,we--"

"There is no building. It was another trick." Robin said in a very tired voice.

"A trick? Then why?"

Robin looked at Raven again. "I'm not sure. Meet you at the tower. Robin out." He turned off the device and stared at Raven. "Let's go home." he held out his hand. Raven gladly accepted it. The ride home was in complete silence.

Slade looked over the footage of Raven's transformation over and over again. She was far more powerful than even he anticipated. She would be a very powerful weapon. A very powerful weapon indeed. But apparently she possessed a strong,indominable will. Not even he could control her. And worse,if Robin and the half-breed get together then he'll never get to Robin.

'Perhaps I can still use this information to my advantage.'

Slade rewound the footage again. He would find a way yet.

'One day.'

Robin parked the bike and looked at Raven.

"I'm not going to ask to talk about it right now but we have to...soon." Robin said.

"I appreciate that very much. But please don't tell everyone what happened. I've already humiliated myself once."

"Raven,it doesn't--"

"Please." she said it in a very pleading and very emotional tone.

Robin sucked in a breath. "All right. But the two of us are going to have a long talk about this. And don't tell me no because..."

"Fine. Tomorrow night. Midnight." she turned to him "Please don't tell Garfield." she said pleadingly as if she read his mind.

He stared at her for a minute. "Alright. For now. But tomorrow night you tell me _everything_ that's bothering you. And I do mean _everything_."

"Fine." she turned away and walked towards the elevator. "Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For everything." she left.

Tonight proved one incontrovertible fact:Raven Roth,the most antisocial person in existence has actual feelings for someone and has shown them:to her leader.

'That can't be. But that's the only explanation makes the most sense. Nothing else made her flip out. Unless it was our friendship that did it but I don't think it was that. Not that intense.' The far better question is would Robin return these feelings? He had Starfire. That's enough isn't it?

'I don't know anymore.'

He cared very deeply for both of them but he had made his choice. Didn't he? Raven,when reflecting back would make an excellent girlfriend with her deep personality. So would Starfire with her lightness. But the real question was which one would he go to and be with and which one whose heart he would have to break?

The darkness or the light?

'I'm _so _confused.'

One)Well the action part finally arrived. Don't worry. The super angst will be back in full swing next chapter and I'll do my best not to depress the hell out of you all.

Two)I based the Headmistress a little from this old boss I used to have. Both are cranky,old crones who deeply loved their jobs...because they had nothing else. Like it was a privilage to work for that biddy. Oh well life goes on.

Three)I wanted to put in a Rocko's Modern Life reference but I couldn't(Sorry Iain,I tried.). So I put in various things particularly Pokemon references. I know the H.A.E.Y.P. motto was tortured but I love the Team Rocket motto(both versions) but anyone wants to do better,go for it. Best one I'll use. But remember use the Team Rocket prose and syntax or no dice.

Four)Next one should hopefully be in two,three weeks. One shots I need to write plus free time plus computer problems will delay things. Part of life.

Five)See if I improved. Review. This means you R/R writers. Constructive criticism perfectly acceptable. Inflammatory will get nothing but my disrespect. You don't want that do you?


	3. Half as good

Disclaimer:I don't own the Teen Titans.

Author's Note:I decided to write Chapter 3 now,I couldn't wait. Since my computer is in repair I'm using my library's computer. This certainly isn't like my laptop. Since I can't use asterisks anymore(why,I'll never know.),I'm using the funky parenthesis. Anyway this is the turning point chapter and of all the songs,this and next chapter's are two of my favorites.

My responses:

Lain:What a great idea(sprays B.B. with acid). Seriously,I don't kill off anyone canon or not. I consider it very cheap and unoriginal(I'll explain later)but you may not like what I do to B.B. in this chapter. I'll let you be the judge.

writerofthefuture:I'm glad you got a sense of humor. You need that in life.

idoliar:No harm,no foul.

Timeline:Three hours after Part 2

Well,here is the Rocko's Modern Life reference I promised you,Noriaki. Hope you like them.

Let's get started.

Robin stayed in the hangar for a while. 'About three hours,ten seconds.' He counted the time since Raven left. The focal point of his thoughts.

'I can't believe that super-goth ,super-antisocial Raven likes me. _Me!_' he said,still shocked by Raven's recent actions. Going super-demon all over Jinx and why?

Because she likes him apparently. But the far better question is does she _love _him?

'Good question.'

For as long as he knew her,he wasn't sure if Raven was capable of love,let alone like. Obviously today proved him wrong. However there are _so_ many questions:Starfire,Beast Boy,but far above them,would he return these feelings?

'I'm not sure.'

Robin wasn't sure which put him off more between the two girls:Raven's antisocial attitudes or Starfire's sickening sweet wholesomeness?

'I'd like to think Starfire but I think it's Raven's attitude.' Raven's goth moods always made the Boy Wonder grimance. The first year was expectionally difficult because she never wanted to do anything with them. And granted,the rest of the Titans are a pesky bunch but he wouldn't trade them for anything.

Including Raven.

As much as he hated her attitude,he deeply admired her seriousness. If the other Titans had their way,they'd goof all the time. That's just one of the aspects of Raven he admired. Among others. The analytical part of his brain kicked in.

'Maybe I should focus on Raven's other qualities first then the others.' He thought since he had a lot to think about. Process of elimination would be best. He thought he should do Raven first since she's the focal point of all this.

'All right she's moody and serious,what else is there?' Robin mused. He was scrambling to find Raven's other qualities. Let's see…she is extremely well-read and whipsmart. If he didn't know the answer to a question he knew Raven would know. Granted,she may obsess over her books like Beast Boy and Cyborg obsess over their 'pointless video games' as she would call them but she wasn't consumed by them. Besides to actually read and to use the brains God gave you was far more impressive. Especially in this day and age when most people would rather watch a movie than read a book. He chuckled.

'_That's _definitelysomething Raven would say.' He said thinking about the sarcastic quips she's used over the years and he laughed at all of them. He didn't laughed on the outside but he was all smiles on the inside. He wanted to laugh,he did but couldn't because of his serious leader image he projected. If he were with Batman and laughed like he wanted to with Raven's comments he'd never hear the end of it.

'But it would be worth it.' He mentally smirked.

Besides her humor and intellect Robin understood her need to privacy. It was a need he knew all too well with Batman. Privacy often went hand-in-hand with secrets. The more private the person,the more secrets he'd/she'd know. Robin knew that and he knew Raven was the most secretive person he knew second only to Batman and not even then. If he told her his most precious secrets such as his secret identity or worse,his past,he knew Raven wouldn't tell _anyone_. He knew he was going to tell her about those two items one day when they're together.

_If _they're together.

Robin wasn't ready to think that,he'd wanted to measure Raven's and Starfire's qualities before he'd delve into that.

Anyway,back to secrets. It _would _be nice to tell someone,not having to hide the pain anymore. To tell of the pain,the darkness,the emotional silence,and…the great loneliness that came with this life. More to the point he knew Raven has faced with all that pain just like he did and that she needed to tell too. He based that on what he knew or at least suspected in all honesty about the pain Raven had endured and he knew she didn't have much of a life.

Neither did he.

Maybe that's why she's attracted to him:because they're so similar,like…soulmates? Is that the proper term?

No,that can't be. He didn't believe in soulmates and all that New Age garbage but he can't ignore this.

Can he?

'I don't think I can.'

Thinking of New Age he thought of Starfire. She definitely has the hippie vibe about her and as much as he hated to admit to it maybe that is one of the reasons that attracted him to her.

'She's so different.'

Her naivete and just plain wholesome image was simultaneously refreshing and irritating. A major contrast to Robin's more street smart and maybe not dark or edgy but mature approach. Especially considering being that he's seen more than she has:the dark side of human nature,the cruel turns that life makes and the pain of..just plain existing. He knew that Raven has seen that all too well.

'Have to stop thinking about her.' He admonished himself.

Anyway,Starfire's wholesomeness was one of the key components in gluing the Titans together. Between Cyborg's competitiveness,Beast Boy's need for attention,Raven's seriousness,and Robin's drive to punish the wicked,Starfire was the light that bound them together. As apparently he found out or rather _told_ to by Starfire when she went after the time-distorting criminal Warp and disappeared into the indigo vortex he made. He was shocked particularly with his future identity Nightwing. He wished he didn't know. Now within the past year sometimes late at night he thinks about the life choices he's going to make to either avoid it or succumb to it. Maybe he'll ask Raven to mindwipe that for him and hopefully stop the unnecessary headaches it's creating. Batman always hated knowing the far future as it completely negates the concept of free will. Everything is pre-ordained so why bother changing and redeem yourself when you're going to be damned anyway?

Robin hated when he talked like that and thought it was all folderol but now he understood why. A sudden thought occurred to him:With a name like Nightwing,that will sure definitely make Raven wet for him.

'Damn it! Have to stop that!' he admonished himself yet again. He was becoming surprised and a little angry that his thoughts keep coming back to Raven.

Another feature of Starfire's was she came with family. Pretty much loving on the whole with the exception of the psychotic Blackfire of course. For someone who had a family and then lost it,it's a blessing.

But...

Starfire never introduced him to her family. He often wondered what their reaction would be to Starfire being with a human. If they're traditional as he suspected,based on what she said about them,they would no doubt disowe her or recall her and take away her position on the royal family.

That was _everything_ to Starfire. The way she talked about being a princess,she said it with…love,with great care. Robin often wondered if push came to shove would Starfire give up her royal title and all it came with it for him?

He doubted it. She cared about it too damn much and he certainly wouldn't expect her to give all it up.

'Doesn't sound like you have much faith in her.' His conscience said.

'Guess I don't.' he thought morosely.

His mother once said and he heard parts of that phrase all over that "Love has no bountries. If she truly loves you or you truly love her then you both should have no problems giving up what's holding you back for each other." It was one of the last things she said before her…accident. He always took it to heart and always used it in relationships,thinking how far he would give up for the girl and the reverse. He used it with Starfire and wondered if how far would he give up and more than that how far would she?

'I think I would but I know she wouldn't. That title is just too important to her.'

'Alright. What about Raven?'

Robin thought long and hard. Raven didn't have much attachment,she was a free agent. Come and go as she pleased. If anything,the only thing that's holding her back was her own fears.

'What Raven can't do that? What if she can't let go?'

'She let go a good deal just a few hours ago. She released that precious control of hers for _you_. Don't forget that.' His conscience countered.

True,she _did _let go…for him. But the better question was…why? What does she see in him?

'You'll find out tomorrow night.'

'Yeah but what if I don't feel anything for her? She'll be crushed. And God knows what will happen with her powers?'

'You obviously feel _something_ for her or you wouldn't thinking about her this much.'

'Well I never had the most antisocial person I've ever met like me before.'

'What if she loved you instead of like? Like you were thinking before? Would that change things?'

'I don't know that.'

'Not until you ask. Why? Are you afraid to love her?' his conscience questioned.

'It's not that easy. Anytime I love someone I end up losing them or hurting them. I don't want to do that to Raven.'

'That's the risk in going into any relationship with someone. The point is you help them overcome their fears and they in turn help you overcome yours and you _both_ be better people for it. You've always chided Raven for being antisocial and having fears. Now she's willing albeit somewhat to ask for your help. You know how damn stubborn she is. You should on your knees thanking God for this opportunity.'

'Why?'

'Because she's opening up to you,idiot! Being with her will then in turn open you up.'

'W…What if it doesn't? Then we'll both be miserable.'

'What it does and you both will be happy?'

'I don't know how to be happy.'

'Neither does Raven but then she's never known but _you_ used to. Teach her to be happy and the satisfaction that comes from her being happy will in turn make _you_ happy and…together.'

'Why are you pushing this so much?'

'Because you both deserve to be happy. And I know you'll never get that from Starfire.'

'What if I can be?'

'Because if you were you wouldn't thinking about Raven so damn much. You can hide the truth from everyone as much as you want but you can't hide from yourself.'

Robin said nothing. His conscience proved its point.

'I wish I knew the depth of her feelings but from what I saw they must run pretty deep. The question is would this be a long-term or short-term. Like a fling she wants to do?'

'You know Raven. She _would not _do a fling. Starfire on the other hand would though.'

True,Raven took everything very seriously,so logically she would take a relationship very seriously as well. Starfire on the other hand took things in a mostly light-hearted tone as experienced in their relationship,so…

'So the evidence speaks for itself.' His conscience said. 

'It certainly does.' Robin thought after sucking in a breath.

'So what are you going to do?'

'I guess wait until tomorrow night and hopefully find out how deep Raven's feelings are and go from there.'

'And what if they are deep? Will you act on them?'

Robin thought nothing.

'You know you'll be up all night thinking about her? Right?' his conscience smirked.

'I know. Damn.'

But he thought further,Cyborg and the rest of the Titans arrived in the hangar. Cyborg and Beast Boy approached him.

"Sorry,we're late. Control Freak on the loose again." Cyborg groaned.

"I believe One Eye would pull the same trick twice. Maybe he's getting senile or something." Beast Boy quipped.

"It doesn't matter. He's stopped anyway. Looks like Beast Boy,you were right." Robin said.

"I love those five words:'Beast Boy,you were right.'. Music to my ears. Can't wait to tell Raven." Beast Boy walked away but called back.

"How it go? Anything happen?"

Robin thought for 30 seconds. "No. Nothing happened." He said remembering his promise to Raven.

"Cool. See ya." And he left.

"Looked like you were going to say something else. Anything bugging ya?" Cyborg asked.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. I'll write up the report and give it to you tonight." He said and left,leaving Cyborg with a puzzled expression on his face.

Raven slammed her door and crouched behind it head at knees and thought about what happened.

'What the hell happened?'

She replayed the events in her head and watched as a crazy person took over her body.

'A crazy person…in love I think.' Her conscience said.

'What?'

'You didn't act that way because you were mad at Jinx. You were mad because you nearly had someone you…care for about to be taken from you.'

Raven gave a deep sign. 'I did,didn't I?'

'You can't ignore this anymore. You _have_ to tell him or do something before things get _really _out of hand.'

'Too late for that. But still it's nice…'

'What's nice?'

'Finally getting it out into the open. Now comes the hard part.'

'Whether or not he feels the same way.'

'Yes. Would he?'

'There's one way.'

'No, not him! I will not do that to him.' Raven countered. Raven could easily mind-probe Robin but she would not because of her deep respect and admiration for him and now as the years have passed she's finally added another feeling to her arsenal:Love.

'I wonder if it is love or very strong infatuation?' she wondered.

'Think of Robin and then of your interactions with him. After that you tell me if it's infatuation or not?'

Raven thought of Robin:A warmness was created within her. A warmness she thought she was never allowed to experience because of the limitations Destiny gave her but also the limitations biology gave her as well.

'He makes me feel…warm. I've never felt that before. He makes me want to…feel. Is that right?'

'What do you think?'

Raven thought for a moment. 'He…He does. He makes me want to be alive. To be…human.'

'You _are _human. It's just that you've buried that part of yourself for so long you don't know how to access it anymore.'

'But how can he tap into it? What does he have that no one has?'

'He has the…knowledge. The understanding of how truly cruel life can be. You've sensed that from being around him. But more than that he's trying not to get crushed by it…like you. He's just like you.'

Raven's eyes widen with shock. 'That's not true. He can't be like me. I'm depressed. He on the other hand is happy…with her.'

'Perhaps he's using her like what you're doing to Garfield:a placeholder.'

'He wouldn't do that. Would he?'

'When you're lonely the reasons don't matter much.'

'You think he's lonely now? I've not sensed it since he's been with Starfire.'

'That's because you've dismissed all those very subtle nuances he's shown over the years. Little words he says,his body language,his dreams. Because you've been busy worring about yourself.'

'I loathe to admit this but you're right. I've been so enveloped in my own brand of depression,I've ignored him. Especially all he's done for me.'

Raven thought about all the times Robin backed her up in front of the Titans and always took what she said so seriously. But it wasn't just that…

'There were other things too. The little important things.'

One thing Raven noticed was how Robin never judged her. Never called her a freak or an abomination of nature like so many have called her in the past,including the Titans. Particularly when they first came together. He always berated them in public for doing that. Raven at the time outwardly didn't care but inwardly she was very touched by his genuine concern for her.

His concern for her has showed up in very subtle ways throughout the years:The incident with the mirror and the fact he backed off to let her solve the problem herself,his touching concern over her when she brushed minds with Terra's and felt the split-second flash of evil within her,the fact he saved her from falling when those stupid,idiotic fears of hers created from that pointless video got the better of her. And just today the fact he showed true concern over her and wanted to help with her problems with Beast Boy.

'That's all he ever does is care about me. In fact he's the only one.'

Raven thought about the various people she knew over the years and thought about how they never really cared for her in any real capacity. Her father wanted to use her for her powers,her mother couldn't stand the sight of her,Azar and her people _did _cared about her but more of a pet project type of way. Just focused on controlling her powers,not her. And Earth the Titans no doubt would have used her for just her powers if it weren't for Robin keeping them in line.

Robin's concern for her bled through the work as well as he gave her marital arts training on the side. He didn't like how Raven was overtly dependent on her powers to get things done. She remembered one exchange with him before they started training.

_----------------------------------------------------------------_

"_Raven, I'm getting concerned." Robin said to her in the living room. She was sitting down on the couch reading yet another horror novel._

"_About what?" she said shutting the book._

"_The way you battle. You've been using your powers too much lately."_

"_I don't see why you're so concerned. My powers get the job done." She said in a rising anger tone._

"_That they do. But what if you lose them? Then what are you going to do?"_

"_That will never happen. I—"_

"_But what it does happen? You'll be defenseless. You'll get hurt. I don't want you getting hurt." Robin interrupted with a caring tone to his voice. _

_Raven looked at him with shock. She couldn't think of an appropriate response._

"_Please Raven,let me help you. I can make it so that your body keeps up with your whipsmart mind but only if you trust me."_

_Raven looked at him uncertain._

"_I won't tell anyone. And you can certainly can't do anyone better than me… at this type of training anyway. So what do you say?" Robin added in a caring tone he added just for her. He certainly didn't talk that way with Starfire based on what little she's seen._

"_Alright. But if I don't like what I see, then we stop. Got that?" she said finally._

"_Of course. But don't worry. You can easily pull this off one-two-three. I believe in you." He said offering his hand. _

_Raven wasn't used to positive encouragement and looked at him strangely but she took his hand._

"_Let's hope I believe in me as well."_

That was really the first time she saw him in a different light. She was used to being used,ignored,and shunned. To actually be appreciated,encouraged,and just plain cared about was nothing Raven was used to. Even though Starfire tried to do the same thing in her own clumsy,heavy-handed way,it wasn't the same. Certainly when compared to Robin's very subtle and very special way.

'He certainly makes a girl feel special doesn't he?' she inwardly smirked.

'True,but not in the way that makes you feel used or dirty.'

'No,he doesn't.' Raven said in a slightly elated tone still floating in the positive emotions that Robin has created within her.

'Are you still going to tell me that this is infatuation?' her conscience asked.

Raven thought long and hard. Robin was the first person she met who didn't call her a freak,the first person that showed actual concern for her and her well-being,the first person to treat her like an equal instead of a servant,the first person who without even knowing it got past the barriers she has built since birth,the first person to see her cry and didn't make her feel ashamed,the first person who…who makes her want to live instead of just living.

'I…I…' she stuttered.

'Say it. Say it!' her conscience screamed.

"I…I love him." She said in a quiet whisper.

'Finally,now we wait.'

'Wait for what?'

'Wait for him to make his move.'

'But I want to tell him now.' She said feeling impulse for the first time.

'No. Give him time. He needs time to think. To think about the choice he has to make.'

'But I want…'

'You've waited four years for this moment. You can wait one more day.'

'You're right. God this is exhausting. I'm going to sleep.' Raven acquisied and got up to go to bed.

"Raven,you in there?" a juvenile voice asked through the door.

'Damn. I forgot.' Raven thought. "Yes,Garfield?"

"You ok?"

Raven thought that she wasn't fine,that the secret she clung to her heart for four miserable years was finally unleashed and may end up destroying five friendships and so much more.

"I'm fine Garfield. Just tired." She lied.

"Can I come in?"

"No. I'm about to go to sleep. Sorry."

"It's alright. Still on for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" she said while searching her mind for clues to what he was talking about.

"The comic shop. You said you would go with me tomorrow since I went to your poetry slam last week." Beast Boy replied.

'Oh yeah.' "I did say that didn't I? Alright fine,I'll go." Raven replied.

"Great. Oh and Raven? _Please _wear something other than your leotard."

"Fine. Off you go." Raven said as she collapsed on the bed.

"Ok. See you at dinner?" Beast Boy asked.

"Maybe. Off you go." She said before falling asleep.

She never did come to dinner. She slept and dreamt. Dreamt about her and Robin. Robin on the other hand skipped dinner also and lied on his bed,eyes open,staring at the ceiling thinking…about Raven.

"Damn."

"You turn the page and then you wash your hands. And then you turn the page and then you wash your hands." Beast Boy said to Raven while reading a comic book by the counter at his rather unimpressive

comic shop. Raven leaned on the counter wearing a black T-Shirt showing a bloody pentagram and black jeans filled with chains with belt buckles on her neck and wrists. Beast Boy was wearing a purple T-Shirt and jeans.

'This is payback for them listening to my mantra,I just know it.'

The new comics were usually in late morning so Beast Boy dragged her out of bed. Normally that would piss off Raven but then again she wasn't exactly looking forward to see Robin after yesterday so she took it

as a mixed blessing. But then she'd rather deal with Robin and the tension than listening to this mantra she heard for the past hour. Anymore and her head will explode.

Or make someone else's.

"And then you turn the page and then—" Raven grabbed his hand.

"You've made your point clear and now for the love of Groudon,stop. I can't take any more." She growled.

Beast Boy looked at her like a deer caught in headlights.

"Ok,I'll shut up." Raven let go of his hand.

"Thank you." She said in a soft tone.

'I wonder if Robin would do this to me? No. I know he wouldn't.' Raven thought.

'Enough. Raven,let it go.' Her conscience commanded.

'Fine.' "Are you done?" she asked.

"Yeah,I'm done." He grabbed his comics and they left,brushing aside two male teenagers. One was dressed in a white T-Shirt and jeans and a mullet hairstyle. The other was overweight and wore all black.

"And the elf amazons are unlike any other woman in comics. They're beautiful _and_ they can wield a mean axe. Mortal women just can't compare to them." The mullet-headed one said.

"Wow…you're an idiot." The overweight one replied in an awed tone in his voice.

"So you want to go to the pizza point?" Beast Boy asked.

"Fine." And with that they walked to the pizza point.

"So Raven,to quote you 'Anything been eating at your soul lately'?" Beast Boy asked.

"No."

"Raven…" Beast Boy looked at her dubiously.

"It's just that…" she thought long and hard about what her response would be. She couldn't tell him the truth,it would in all likelihood devastate him. As much as the changeling irritated the hell out of her she couldn't break his heart like this. Besides if she was going to do that she better know damn sure what Robin's feelings were before doing anything. To give herself a parachute in case of his likely reaction which is rejecting her.

"I hate parachutes." She slipped out.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It's just my battle with Jinx was more damaging than I thought it would be. She said some vicious things and I've been thinking about it ever since." She lied with a tinge of truth in it. She _would _havebeen thinking about what the gothic H.A.E.Y.P. agent said to her if it weren't for the visions of Robin swimming through her head and right now that's the only thing keeping her going.

"What did she say?" Beast Boy asked.

"Nothing much. I've slough it off."

"Rave…"

"Alright,alright. She said the only way I'd be with somebody is forcing them to with my powers. That and she made a body joke or two." She hated to dredge that up but felt it was necessary to evade the real issue going on in her mind.

"I'm sorry Raven. Want me go and kick her ass?"

'How thuggish but…sweet.' She thought.

"No you don't need to,my scrawny body can more than deal with her." She demurred.

"I think you don't have a scrawny body. I think you have a really hot body. Way hotter than hers or anyone else's." Beast Boy cheered.

"Rather guttural but thank you for the compliment." Raven said not used to a postitive endorsement about her body.

"You're welcome. We're almost there. Race ya." Beast Boy said as he ran the restaurant.

"Oh please. Why run when you can teleport?" Raven said before she disappeared in a flash of indigo light.

"That's what I get for trying to race with a psychic." Beast Boy groaned as he ran towards the restaurant.

Raven materialized at the second floor and got their usual table. She kept thinking about tonight.

'Will he feel the same way that I do? Even in the slightest? A small chance is better than no chance at all. And what about Starfire? Will he dump her or stay with her? One thing is for certain,I can't keep this up. Not with him floating in my mind all the time. I'm sorry,Garfield but your days are numbered. I can't do this. I can't.'

Beast Boy arrived winded and sat down.

"Why do you do things like that?" he nearly screamed or would have if he weren't so winded.

"To see your reaction. For amusement." Raven replied in a near smirk tone to her.

"Well was it? Amusing?" Beast Boy asked.

"Somewhat." A waitress came and took their order:a meatless pizza of course.

"You know maybe we should do this with Rob and Star sometime soon." Beast Boy asked.

'Oh Lord please no. Anything but that.' Raven internally pleaded.

"I don't think so." She said.

"Oh come on! It will be fun." Beast Boy said with an amused tone to his voice.

"No." she nearly growled.

"Raven you have to compromise on some things. You know,give and take and all that crap. So c'mon…"

Raven thought fast. She had to find a way to make him drop this but not in a way that tipped her hand. She then had a flash of inspiration. Now if only he's stupid enough to fall for it…

"Garfield,let me put it this way. In every relationship there should be room for an irrational demand or two. Just one condition or item that one says irrationally of course and the other does it or doesn't do it throughout the course of the entire relationship. Alright?" she said praying that it would work.

"Yeah,ok. Umm…does this have to with Robin and Starfire?" he asked.

Raven scrambled. "The item can not be scrutinized. It is by definition irrational."

"Ok."

"And mine is no double date with Robin and Starfire." Raven stated.

"And ya sure this is how you want to use up your demand?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yes,I've thought it out through and through--Irrationally of course."

"Ok Rave,if that's how you want to use it,fine by me." He replied.

"Thank you,Garfield." Raven softly replied.

The waitress returned with their pizza and they devoured it quickly or at least Raven did. She just wanted this hoopla to end.

"Man,you're just the pizza monster aren't you?" Beast Boy observed.

"Roar." Raven gave in a slightly playful tone.

They were getting ready to leave when a couple entered the floor:A male teenager with long raven hair and

onyx eyes wearing all blue and a female early adult with blonde hair wearing a white T-Shirt and jeans. Raven immediately recognized the male:he was Aqualad,the quite attractive teenage telepath from Atlantis. As much as she loathes to admit it she was somewhat smitten of the handsome telepath. That was before the thoughts of Robin entered her heart. Besides from what she sensed he had an arrogance about him which she thought was an extreme turnoff. It's one of the reasons she resented Beast Boy at the beginning and maybe,maybe if he got rid of it…

'Then we might have a chance.'

'No you wouldn't. They're too extreme. You couldn't be with either one and you know it. Robin on the other hand isn't like that at all. He's in the middle. Balanced. Just right. Was there any other choice you could make? Both then and now?' her conscience asked.

'No. There isn't.' she replied then concentrated on the girl,she's never seen her before.

"Crap,I know her." Beast Boy whispered to her.

"Who?"

"Her name is Bethany Snow. Used to date her for quite a while." He said with a grudging tone to his voice.

'Oh,great. I get to meet the ex.' Raven inwardly groaned.

Aqualad recognized them and they went to Beast Boy and Raven's table.

"Beast Boy. What's up?" Aqualad asked extended his hand in a high five motion.

"Just chillin'. Whatcha' ya doing in our neck of the woods?" Beast Boy replied,returning to the motion.

"Decided to see what's so great about the surface. Bethany works for the city and she's showing me around town." Aqualad replied.

"Hello Gar." Bethany said in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Beth. Why are you here? Hungry?" Beast Boy asked in a amusing but slightly tensed tone of voice.

"No,I wanted to show Aqualad what a cuisinart looks like. Of course we're hungry!" Bethany growled.

Raven rather liked her humor but was too busy dealing the building,intense anger inside Bethany. She sensed that Bethany did not like her,which was quickly blossoming into hatred. Raven wanted to leave before her shields were totally shattered. Normally she wouldn't care nor back down but she would need her

shields for tonight.

"Whoops. Forgot my manners. This is Raven Roth,my…girlfriend." Beast Boy said,showing a lop-sided grin. Raven noticed the pause before he said "girlfriend".

"Bethany." Raven said.

"Raven." Bethany countered. 'With a name like that,probably belongs in a cult.' Raven caught that thought.

Raven stared hard at Bethany for fifteen seconds and then said:

"Garfield,I think we better go home. I think I'm developing a headache."

"I hope it's not because of me." Bethany said in fake sincerity.

'No,but you're not helping.' Raven mentally countered and replied:

"No. It's just been a rough couple of days for me."

"Ok,but can we at least stay for a couple of minutes? I haven't talked to Aqualad in ages." Beast Boy whined.

"Fine.I'll go to the restroom." Raven lied as she got up

"And I'll go order our pizza." Bethany said before storming off. As she left she thought:

'I can't believe he's with that gothic…_freak_. He deserves to be with someone who can at least go out in the sunlight,not some…vampire whore.'

Raven felt hurt but wasn't surprised. Bethany would be the arrogant bitch to say or least think things like that. Beast Boy sensed this and walked up to her and put his arm around her.

"As you would say 'Ignore her'. She's just jealous." He said encouragingly but as he said that Raven picked up a feeling in his head:a feeling of satisifaction,a feeling of pride,a feeling of…triumph.

'That'll teach her for dumping me.' Beast Boy inwardly smirked.

Raven outwardly acted like nothing happened but everything was going off in her head:it was like when Beast Boy first admitted his feelings to Raven and all those emotions of his ran off in her head. Most she recognized but there was one feeling that underlined all those and she couldn't recognize it until now.

It wasn't love,it was predatoriness and she was his…trophy.

He was using her as well.

'No,it can't be. Can it?' Before Raven could think she had to find out more.

"I'm going to the restroom and I'll meet you outside." She replied and stared at Aqualad for less than two seconds and left. She knew he might pick up on her thoughts with his telepathy and ruin everything but unlike him,she's had extensive training in surpressing and masking her thoughts. She hoped her training would pay off here.

She walked inside and waited by the edge of the doorway careful not to reveal herself.

"So,Raven huh? I'm impressed." Aqualad said.

"I thought you would be. But man,being with her has been one hell of an experience." Beast Boy smirked.

"I can certainly see that. You've must have _loads _of fun with her."

"I wish. All she does is hide behind her books or hide behind her hood or best of all hide behind her insults. I've tried to make her smile. I've tried,and tried and,tried. But nothing! I'm getting really tired of all this." Beast Boy whined.

"It's like the chicken says 'You knew the job was dangerous when you took it'."

"Where did you heard that?"

"Ancient Atlanean expression."

"Riiight." Beast Boy said dubiously.

"Anyway,if you're getting tired of Raven shutting you out,why don't you just dump her and move on?"

"I've thought about it. If Raven were a normal girl and could take it like a normal girl then I would but I can't. You know how psycho she can be. I feel like I'm stuck. I thought it would be fun,you know? Loads of laughs,but now she's starting to make _me _depressed and you know that's not me." Beast Boy said reflectively.

"You're many things. Depressed is not one of them." Aqualad countered.

"I know. I wanted to do this to get Raven out of her shell and help her."

"Is that the only reason?" Aqualad asked.

"Well,showing off Raven to Bethany was a definite bonus. I guess I wouldn't mind showing off Raven a couple of more times to some of my ex-s. You know before I cut her loose."

"Or she cuts you loose." Aqualad smirked.

"Yeah." Beast Boy said dejectedly.

"Well good luck with all that,I got to go check on Bethany before she takes a pizza slicer or something and tries to cut you or Raven." Aqualad joked.

"Yeah,she can be a crazy one sometimes."

"B.B. One thing?" Aqualad asked before he walked away.

"Yeah?"

"Try not to hurt her too much."

"I won't. Later."

"Later." Aqualad said waving his hand in a goodbye gesture.

Raven teleported to the entrance and thought back about the whole exchange. He was using her too but not in the way she was using him. If anything what he was doing was worse:she was just using him as a simple substitute for Robin to end her loneliness,to maybe take away the pain,the pain she's endured for far too long. But she knew Beast Boy never knew pain,pain that her and Robin seem to share. No,he couldn't take that away without knowing about it first.

Beast Boy promised he would make her laugh and make her happy and more than that not feel alone but he missed the mark,if anything she was more alone than ever before as well as becoming more…irritated by him and his clumsy advances. She was irritated before when they were friends but now it's worse. Now she was getting downright angry and she finally began to understand why:it was because he didn't act like a mate should act like. A mate is someone who thinks of your needs before theirs. Someone to feel vulnerable to and not feel ashamed. Someone who thinks of the future not just the here and now. Someone who doesn't care about your faults and will care about you just the same. But more than anything,a mate is someone who loves you and cares about you about unconditionally. Now as Raven thought about these statements she thought two things:

One)Beast Boy hardly fits the criteria.

Two)Robin fits it very easily but only if he feels the same way.

She prayed the last statement was true. Now that Beast Boy's true intentions of being with are revealed,she can't possibly remain with him. She will not be used as a pawn or trophy or anything he had in store for her.

And if Robin rejected her then she would be the ice queen the world has thought her to be. Beast Boy finally got up with her and they walked towards the Tower.

"Sorry about all that. I didn't know Bethany would show up…especially with Aqua." Beast Boy demurred.

"No point about worrying things you can't control. I thought you knew that,being that you're with me." Raven said in an almost snippy tone.

"Sorry for not reading the Raven Roth handbook. Anything else I should know?" Beast Boy said in an annoyed tone.

"Yes,you should have 'known the job was dangerous when you took it'." Raven said angrily while a nearby window exploded.

Beast Boy's eyes widen with shock.

She heard it.

She heard every word.

"Yes I did,but don't worry I won't go too 'psycho' on you." She said reading his thoughts and began to walk away.

"Raven…" Beast Boy said and grabbed Raven's arm and was trying to think of something to say.

"Garfield,there is nothing to say. Goodbye." She pulled her arm away and kept on walking.

"Raven,I wouldn't have said those things if they weren't true."

Raven sharply turned her head and looked straight at him.

"I said those things to Aqua because I couldn't get you to say anything to me. I knew you were antisocial but I didn't know how bad."

"Stop using polysyllabic words Garfield. It does not become you." She said in an emotionlessness tone.

"Maybe so but at least I'm trying. I'm sorry I'm not as smart as you or Robin!" Beast Boy said and smacked his hand against his forehead can't believing he blurted that out.

Raven looked at Beast Boy with a pensive gaze and turned away and said something.

"I'm sorry too." She said and then teleported away leaving Beast Boy alone.

He sprinted towards the Tower.

Robin emerged from his room,still thinking about Raven. He knew he couldn't wait anymore. He had to resolve this now. Any more thinking and his stomach would dissolve. He decided to hand Cyborg his report now. If he's going to be busy with Raven,the last thing he needs would be interruptions. He saw Cyborg near the elevator and shouted to get his attention.

"Oh hey Rob."

"Here's the report about yesterday. Sorry about the lateness. I had something else on my mind." Robin said giving him an electronic notebook.

"Forget about it. I have." Cyborg scanned the report and pressed the elevator button.

"Going up?" he asked.

"As a matter of fact,I am." Robin returned and they both entered the elevator.

"Floor?" Cyborg asked.

"Sixth." Robin said. That was Raven's floor.

Cyborg turned off the notebook and asked.

"Are you sure this is all that happened?"

"Yeah. Problem?" Robin asked. He didn't like to falsify records but he would knew Raven wouldn't want the rest of the Titans to know about her recent lapse. Especially over him.

Cyborg looked straight at him at then turned away.

"No problem." Cyborg then pushed the stop button and the elevator stopped.

"What's the problem?" Robin asked.

"Are you ok? You've been out of it since you came back." He stated.

"Fine,no problem. No problem at all." Robin lied.

"Rob,come on. We've been through too much and too little for you to try and shut us out again. What's the problem? We can help. Is it Slade?" Cyborg said in a caring tone.

Robin took in a long breath and thought. "No. For once it isn't him."

"Then what is it?"

"I can't tell you…not yet anyway."

"But you _are_ going to tell us? I don't want to go through that again."

Robin sucked in an another breath. "I will. I'll tell you tomorrow. Alright?"

"Alright. But don't you stonewall me or I'll get Raven after you again." Cyborg said,ending with his trademark light-hearted tone.

"I won't." Robin then pushed the button and started the elevator.

"Why are you going to sixth?" Cyborg asked.

"I'm going to ask Raven for some mediation exercises. Might help. Anyway,it may be a while so don't wait up on us for dinner." Robin said. He hated lying to him but for now it was a necessity. Until everything settled between him and Raven that is.

"Well she went on a date with B.B. this morning." Cyborg checked the sensor connected to his left arm.

"She's in her room now. Anyway,good luck with that. Raven looks like to be a hard teacher." Cyborg said believing Robin's excuse.

"Thanks. This is my stop. I'll see you later." The elevator stopped and chimed. The doors opened and Robin made his exit.

"Later." Cyborg said before the doors closed.

Robin walked down the long corridor and mid-way he heard a voice. A juvenile voice.

Beast Boy's.

Robin hid in the shadows and eavesdropped as much as he didn't want to.

"Raven,I'm sorry. Please come out." Beast Boy said in front of her door.

Silence elasped.

"Raven,please. Let's talk about this." Beast Boy said pledingly.

More silence elapsed.

After five minutes Beast Boy begins to erupt.

"Fine! Stay in your damn room until hell freezes over! You're easier to talk to when you don't say anything anyway!" and with that he stormed out in the opposite direction of the corridor.

Robin reflected:part of him feels sadness for Raven and the fact she and Beast Boy probably have broken up and the other part rejoicing that she may be free.

Actually it's more 40/60.

Robin walked to her door and knocked softly.

"Raven,it's Robin. Can I come in?"

"Is he gone?" returned a melancholy voice.

"Yes."

She opened the door and had eyes full of unshed tears.

"Why are you here? I thought we weren't meeting until midnight." She asked.

"I couldn't wait anymore." Robin quickly said and was trying to motion to get in her room and she let him pass.

Robin never saw what the inside of Raven's room looked like. Dressed in dark blues,filled with mystical artifacts,it had a very mysterious and gothic touch.

'Just like Raven.'

"I was outside when I heard Beast Boy screaming. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry. Are you alright?" he said still scanning the room.

"Fine." Raven lied and sat on the center rim of the bed.

"Raven,remember last night? You were supposed to tell me everything." Robin said wanting to sit down.

Raven felt that and moved to give him room. "You're right. I think it suffice to say that Garfield and I have broken up." She said looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry." He then sat down and went to hug Raven. Raven felt like her heart skipped a beat. Another feeling which never happened before.

"Want to talk about it? I'm sure you want to." Robin said in a caring tone.

"I thought you said you couldn't wait anymore." She said when she reluctantly let go.

"You're in pain. It can keep." Robin said giving her a caring glance.

Raven thought she would melt right there. "Alright. When I first entered into this I wasn't sure if it would be a mistake or not."

"A mistake? Why do you say that?"

"Because we're felt so incompatible. At least I felt that. But I suppose I just grew tired of being lonely and he promised to make me laugh and not feel alone."

"But instead he made you depressed and lonely."

"Yes. I suppose I should have turned him down then I would be the only one feeling miserable instead of the both of us." Raven said trying her damnest not to cry.

"You needed someone,Rave. We all do eventually." Robin said in an understanding tone.

"I know,Robin but what I need someone to wake up with me every morning and not run away screaming. Someone who I can talk to for five minutes without getting on my nerves. Someone who wouldn't give a damn that I'm a demon or psychic or goth or anything else that's wrong with me and just wants me for me. Someone to…make love to me,not just have sex." She whispered the last part.

As Robin heard these he knew his path was clear:what Raven said echoed what he felt. What he truly wanted in a relationship but thought he could never have. But more than that he saw this fragile woman in pain and wanted it to end,for herself,for himself. Her pain was his pain for after all she was him and he was her. His only regret is not realizing that sooner but then he couldn't handle her. Now with the passage of time,he finally can.

"I want someone who…" as Raven said this Robin finally succumbed to his heart and bent over and kissed her tenderly. A few trinkets and a window or two were shattered but she didn't care. All she cared about was the tenderness of the kiss and the man who was doing this to her. They finally parted.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" Raven shouted.

"I liked it too." Robin said sheepishly.

"That's not funny." Raven said as she went over and kissed him again returning to the tenderness of the kiss and washing in the emotions.

As Robin and Raven kissed,they didn't think about anything:just each other. As they parted again there was one thing that entered their minds.

'What happens next?'

One)I don't know if that was angst-filled or not but definitely cerebral. I hated the fact I made Robin so wishy-washy but I needed him over why he would choose Raven. One more chapter and then we can get to the spooge.

Two)If I made Beast Boy a jerk I apologize but I needed to make his less than honorable intentions known. I chose Bethany Snow because she was a name in Teen Titans and I prefer using canon characters to original. If anyone wants to tell me the names of the love interests Beast Boy has had over the years I'll amend it and put one of them in. If not I'll leave it as is.

Three)I've a Robin/Raven Father's Day fiction in the planning stages now so that will eat up my time,not to mention calling Gateway every couple of days saying "Dude,where's my computer?" Okay I don't say 'dude' but I'm getting angry.

Four)To my two favorite correspondents(you know who you are)I thought this would be just three days but now it's three weeks. At this point in time I have NO idea when I'm getting my comp back so I'm going to leave the anonymous reviews sector open while I'm gone so you can leave your comments(believe me they don't have to be story-related). If not stay safe.

Five)I hope everyone enjoys the chapter because it was very difficult writing it.


End file.
